Let God be the Judge

A common question people ask is, "Why do the good ones suffer so much in life while the bad ones seem to prosper?" Story after story is told of miseries befalling the kind hearted soul while fortune smiles on the one who does nothing but cause harm to others. The individual asking the question tends to silently place the blame on the Almighty whom he suspects of sleeping on the job and therefore failing to impart justice.

As humans with limitations, we are unable to see the complete picture. We forget that Nature has its laws in place and these laws pervade every aspect of life. The law that 'every action has a reaction' ensures that humans are held accountable for what they do. Sooner or later we taste the fruits of our actions. Moreover, the person who seems to do nothing but wrong has been good uncountable times in previous lives as well as the present one. Even a murderer has done good in life, and even the best person in the world is guilty of misdeeds. No one is completely good or totally bad.

While we see only what is before us and what we choose to see, God sees that which is not apparent to us. While we refuse to see our own shortcomings and magnify the mistakes of others, God imparts divine justice without prejudice.

Let God be the judge.

Do not react immediately

Many people react immediately to the words and behavior of others. Whether it is an unreasonable demand being made or discouraging words being shouted, they become tense right away as blood pressure rises to dangerous levels. Perhaps you are one of these people. If so, you may be thinking: What can I do in such a situation?

First of all, you cannot change another person and you may not be able to get out of the situation. Therefore, you need to learn how to change yourself and deal effectively with the situation.

Secondly, know that you have a choice. You do not have to react. Do not allow anyone to take away something as precious as peace of mind. Listen to the words and then make up your mind to accept them or not to accept them. If the words are undesirable and damaging, let them go through one ear and out the other. Do not allow them to remain in the mind. Words such as, "You will never amount to anything,' or 'You are a fool and don't know anything,' or 'You never do anything right' can affect you throughout life if you allow them to do so.

Sometimes a request or a demand is made. Know that you are not obligated to provide an answer right away. If a request is made of you, you have the right to say, "I will get back to you," or "I will have to think about it." This way, you will have some time to make the right decision and provide the correct answer.

Unless it's a life-or-death situation, you do not have to react to it immediately.

Filling the void

I recently met a couple who are searching far and wide to find a suitable and competent match for their daughter. They mentioned the various attributes of their daughter, but one particular point struck me. They mentioned that she was independent and was living on her own while working, studying, and managing her day-to-day affairs. They felt that she was lonely and that a life partner would fill the void in her life and would help share her workload.

There are young men who are living independently and are very busy taking care of their professional and personal life. Their parents and other loved ones are telling them also that once they get married, there will be a life partner who will make them happier and share their workload.

Both parties are looking for fulfillment from each other and are expecting their workload to be reduced. When two such well meaning people with unrealistic expectations from each other are put together, it is a shock for them to discover that not only has their workload not reduced but that now they are feeling just as empty as before.

It is unrealistic to believe that another human being can fill the void in our lives. Most people get married to get away from loneliness, but later find that they are as lonely, if not more so, after marriage as they were before marriage.

The void within can be filled only by God not by a person.

Yours,
Didiji.

Wat Really Counts

I read a sign on the roadside which said, "Teaching your children how to count is important, but are you teaching them what really counts?"

Parents start preparing for the child's future even before he takes birth. After the child is born, they do their best to give him good education and a nurturing environment in which he may flourish and realize his potential. They start skimping on their own needs and wants in an attempt to start saving for college. Parents throughout the world work hard to give their kids the tools that will help them succeed once they leave the security and comforts of home.

However, parents often neglect to provide their children the spiritual foundation that will be essential to them when they go out in the 'real world.' This negligence often stems from their own ignorance of the power of prayer and faith. Spending spiritual time together should be top priority for a family. It provides a great opportunity for a healthy discussion between parents and children as to what they must strive for in life.

Parents need to specify to children the difference between right and wrong, not according to today's standards, but according to Godly laws. Children need to learn from a very young age that every action has a reaction. Virtues such as truthfulness, honesty, generosity, charity and humility need to be emphasized by parents.

Kids need to learn about what really counts in life.

Work on your marriage

Married life is filled with such big challenges that Saint Tulsidas compares them to 'gigantic mountains.' Difficulties arise from the fact that two people from different backgrounds, of contrasting opinions and with different viewpoints come together and enter the state of wedded bliss without any training whatsoever.

There is something very subtle inside every individual which is known as 'pride.' Given the slightest reason, and oftentimes with no reason whatsoever, pride comes out and assumes a huge form. It makes trivial matters such as 'the right way of hanging the toilet paper' and 'squeezing the toothpaste properly' valid grounds for divorce. This must be what the term 'irreconcilable differences' refers to. The couple just couldn't agree on the Colgate and the Charmin issue.

The initial euphoria doesn't last very long. In the euphoric stage, even the perspiration of the beloved smells like the sweetest fragrance. After some time, even the most expensive perfume carries no fragrance.

Godliness needs to be the focal point in every marriage, and couples would do well to undergo spiritual training to prepare them for married life. Ill-equipped couples not only bring suffering upon themselves, but create a heartbreaking situation at home for their innocent children also. Their house resembles a battlefield instead of a loving and nurturing home. In many cases, the extended family is ripped apart while the battle rages between husband and wife.

It is naïve to think that only one party is responsible for marital problems. Both share the responsibility and therefore both need to be actively involved in fixing the marriage. Neither one should be ashamed to accept that help is needed. 

Work on your marriage.

Look at the Big Picture

When traveling by air, you look at a city from up above and you can see the general layout. You are able to look at the big picture, and understand the placement of the highways, houses, warehouses, water towers, airport and the like. Everything looks so much smaller and less intimidating.

The same principle applies to life in general. When you look at a problem from a distance, you are able to see the big picture emerging. The mountainous problem doesn't seem so big when viewed from afar. A calmer perspective is gained when you put some time and distance between you and the challenging situation you are facing in life.

When you look at the big picture, concepts become clearer. What does it matter if you take a bath instead of a shower? Research shows that a 5 minute shower uses 10-25 gallons of water, while a full tub requires about 70 gallons. Think of the overall saving in the long run. It may not seem much to throw a paper here and a plastic bottle there. However, when you look at the big picture, you see the great deal of damage that we are doing to our planet. Recycling one ton of paper saves 17 trees from being cut down and 3,000 gallons of water from being wasted.

It may not seem much that you took a 20-minute long walk this morning as you always do. However, the big picture emerges over a period of time and you see that you are healthier because of those short walks.

Look at the big picture

Dad's girl

ఎప్పుడూ
గుండెల మీద రెండు కలువపూల పాదాలు
కదలాడుతున్నట్టుగానే వుంటుంది
రెండు వెన్నపూస పెదాలు
నా బుగ్గల్ని ఎంగిలిచేసి నవ్వుతున్నట్టే ఉంటుంది.
రెండు తమలపాకు చేతులు
నా మెడని సుతారంగా చుట్టుకుని
ఉయ్యాల లూగుతున్నట్టే అనిపిస్తుంది.

చెడ్డీల నుండి చమ్కీల చుడీదార్ల దాక
పప్పీ షేముల నుండి పట్టు పావడాల దాకా
అదెన్ని వేషాలు మార్చినా
ఈ నాన్న కన్నుల్లో తానింకా కుందేలు పిల్లే
ఈ తండ్రి గుండెల్లో తానింకా మంచుపూలజల్లే.

పిల్లల్లో పిల్లలా, అమ్మాయిల్లో అమ్మాయిలా కనిపిస్తూ
నన్ను లక్షల కూతుళ్ళున్న లక్షాధికారిని చేసేస్తుంది.

ఏ షాపుకైనా వెళతానా
అక్కడ బొమ్మలన్నీ నా చిట్టితల్లిలా
నాన్నా నాన్నా అని పిలుస్తున్నట్టే అనిపిస్తుంది.
అలా దారిలో కాన్వెంటు పిల్లల్ని చూస్తానా
అనేక రూపాల్లో మా అమ్మాయే ఆడుకుంటున్నట్టు ఉంటుంది.

ఏ కాలేజీ దగ్గర నిలబడ్డా
రంగు రంగుల దుస్తుల్లో మా పిల్లే
తూనీగలా ఎగురుతున్నట్టు ఉంటుంది
క్రిక్కిరిసిన ఏ బజారులో నిలుచున్నా
నేనూ నా కూతురూ వందల వేల రూపాల్లో విడిపోయి
చెట్టా పట్టాలు వేసుకు తిరుగుతున్నట్టే అనిపిస్తుంది.

ఎవరికీ కనబడదు గాని
నా నెత్తిమీద ఓ బుల్లి సింహాసనం - దానిలో నా బుజ్జి యువరాణి.
ఈ ప్రపంచం తిరునాళ్ళలో తనను అలా అలుపులేకుండా తిప్పుతున్నట్టే ఉంటుంది.

దానికిప్పుడు అద్దంలో తన బొమ్మ తప్ప
ఏమీ పట్టదు గాని
అది రాత్రంతా పడీ పడీ చదువుతుంటే
నేను టీ డికాక్షన్‌లా మరుగుతూనే ఉంటాను
అది పరీక్షలు రాస్తుంటే
ఆ మూడు గంటలూ రోడ్డు మీద వాహనాలేవీ కదలొద్దని
కసురుకునే ట్రాఫిక్‌ పోలీసునై పోతాను.

తను చలితో వణికిపోతే
నేను పత్తికాయనై పగిలిపోతాను
తను జ్వరంతో మండిపోతే
వంద రెక్కల విసనకర్రనై తన చుట్టూ ప్రదక్షిణలు చేస్తాను
తను జబ్బు పడితే మొత్తం వైద్యశాస్త్రాన్నే తప్పుపడతాను.

ఒక్కసారి నవ్విందా
ఒళ్ళంతా వేల పియానోలు చుట్టుకొని
సజల సంగీతమై ద్రవించిపోతాను.

ఇంక తన పుట్టినరోజు వచ్చిందంటే
ఆకాశానికి నేనే బెలూనై వేలాడతాను.
కొమ్మకొమ్మకీ చాక్లెట్లూ, కేకులూ వేలాడదీసి
పక్షులకు ఫలహారంగా పెడతాను.
ఇప్పుడు తను పెద్దదయ్యింది కదా
నాన్న బొజ్జతో ఆడుకోవడం ఎప్పుడో మానేసింది
పైగా నన్ను చూసి
‘పిచ్చి నాన్న’ అంటూ నవ్వేస్తుంది.

అదేమిటో గాని ఎప్పుడూ
కోతిపిల్ల తల్లిపొట్ట కరచుకు పట్టుకున్నట్టు
ఒక సుతిమెత్తని ప్రాణగీతమేదో
నా పొట్టను పెనవేసుకున్నట్టే ఉంటుంది.

నాకు మాత్రం కూతురంటే
ఒకే జన్మలో మనం పొందే రెండో అమ్మ

మన గుండె షోకేసుల్లో నిత్యం నవ్వే మురిపాల బొమ్మ