Why we suffer

Shantanu Nagarkatti tells us how to overcome misery. A report by Mansi Choksi

In the Yoga Vasishta, Sage Vashishtha tells Prince Rama the story of the enlightenment of Leela. "This story is for those who have lost a dear one, who live in pain and for those of us who are plagued by the anxiety of anticipatory loss," said Nagarkatti.

Leela was the beautiful wife of King Padma — a fair, wise and kind man regarded as the 'lotus of his race'. They were deeply in love. Often, she would be overcome with fear, when she would think of the possibility of losing him. The fear became so overpowering that it sometimes prevented her from enjoying his company and even the present moment.

Leela called on all the wise men in her court to find a solution to her problem. They advised her to engage in tapasya, fasting and meditation so that goddess Saraswati could show her the way. She chanted for days in secrecy and finally Saraswati appeared. "She asked the goddess for two boons: first, that she would appear each time Leela called her and second, that when Padma's soul left his body, it would not leave the room they shared," recounted Nagarkatti.

Decades later, Padma passed away. As Leela sat next to his lifeless body, she was overcome by sorrow.

Nagarkatti explained: "Patanjali says that all unhappiness arises from advidya or ignorance; when we seek permanence in impermanence," he said. "We look for sukham or happiness in things that are designed to cause dukham or sorrow. The nature of the world is to change and we always look for something to hold onto — the idea of I, me, myself."

As Leela sat in her room, plagued by sorrow, she called out to goddess Saraswati. "Let me see where my husband is," she pleaded. The goddess obliged, and Leela went into a trance and saw her husband looking younger, sitting on his throne and ruling over his kingdom. She went to him, spoke to him, tried to embrace him, but he couldn't see her or feel her.

Befuddled, she asked Saraswati, if what she had just seen was a dream or a reflection of her world. "How do you know that what you're experiencing now is not an illusion?" Saraswati asked. "When one is in a dream, everything seems real — tears, blood, pain and even happiness. You realise it's a dream only when you wake up," said Nagarkatti.

She told Leela that there were three dimensions to existence — bhoota akasha or physical, chitt akasha or psychological — which drives the bhoota akasha with the karmas stored in it, or the spiritual dimension, the highest state of being, which is limitless. In this stage, there is no duality, and dwesha. "There is not one universe, but multiverses, not one Padma but several Padmas," said Nagarkatti. With meditation, one can enter the chitt akasha that traverses time and these universes.

Leela undertook nirvikalpa samadhi and reached the highest state of consciousness. Through her travels, she came across mourners near a hut and asked what had happened. The relatives wept furiously and said that this was the hut of Sage Vashishtha and his wife Arundhati and that they had passed away eight days ago. But they could feel their presence in the room.

Goddess Saraswati told Leela that Vashishtha was none other than Padma and Arundhati was none other than Leela. One day, the learned Vashishtha had noticed a huge procession of royalty and had said, "How wonderful it would be to be a king". That wish was granted and he was reborn as Padma. "That's why, be careful of what you desire. As Oscar Wilde said, when God wants to punish you, he fulfils your desire," Nagarkatti said.